We connected on this site Nov 7, 2017 and our first time meeting in person was 4 weeks later. In the sea of possible connections, one wonders how to find the right match. It can seem overwhelming, particularly if you’re not finding anyone nearby and options seem limited. Yet this is a wonderful opportunity to be true to yourself, and hold to those values that are most important to you, and to the dreams that you have for finding your true mate for life. We had both been very specific in our profiles, about ourselves and the type of person we were hoping to meet, including details that we knew might result in fewer responses. Our goal was to find the right match for us, not just anyone. We had each considered limiting our profile to local matches, but are so glad we didn’t.
Within our first few lengthy messages, we knew there was a connection, and decided to correspond off-line. There are a few things that helped our relationship develop so quickly over the distance. We agreed to be intentional in communicating and prioritizing the relationship, never going more than a day (usually not even half a day) without seeing one another’s smile and talking (face time) and never more than 3-4 weeks without being together even though we temporarily live two states away. We face timed every day, two or three times a day, and found out what a wonderful way this is to communicate without distractions and really listen, laugh, and become good friends. We find it’s often hard to say goodbye for the night.
Four weeks after our first contact, two states away, we met. Cena picked Tom up at the airport and we went straight to a beautiful restaurant for a real first date! Even after four weeks of wonderful conversation it took a few hrs together to learn what it feels like to actually be in one another’s presence. We even talked about that before we met, to not create unrealistic expectations at the airport and expected to give some time to adjust to actually being together. It all felt relaxed and real this way and turned out great! That was three days together for a very beautiful first date weekend and then more face time and fun weekends together followed. Everything is falling into place as we envisioned it because we both have been intentional about making it happen. We have met one another’s families and friends, and our wedding date for being together everyday is set for July 8, 2018!
Our advice would be to start with a profile that truly reflects you and what you desire in a mate, and consider expanding the distance you will look. Once you connect, be real with feelings and intentions, be genuine in becoming good friends by sharing who you really are and connecting at different times of the day and night, have patience with one another and possibly the distance situation, and work to create a beautiful shared vision together for your future. There’s someone out there thinking and feeling the same things you are right now, waiting for you to reach out to them as they are preparing to reach out to you. They just may be a little farther than you thought of looking!
Blessings to everyone!.
Advice to other members:
In summary:
-make sure your profile reflects who you truly are, not just what you think will attract someone
-be very specific about what you are looking for, even if you’re afraid it might limit your choices
-expand the distance you will look (don’t think your soulmate has to be close by or even in the same state)
-once you connect, be genuinely who you are and focus on becoming friends first
-work to create a shared vision together for your future, and plan how you will meet in person so you can see if there is real chemistry between you
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